Don’t hurry: Things to learn from children’s book heroes

Essay by freelance journalist Paulina Czienskowski

There is much to learn from watching the heroes of children’s books. One thing stands out: patience. They often go out in search of things. On their journeys through their reality, they show young people the many things out there: animals, vocations, places. Page after page; the suspense usually lasts until the very last one. The kids stay attentive because the protagonists don’t start screaming hysterically and angrily whenever their goal is out of sight. But instead they calmly trudge towards it in high spirits. Step by step.

The real world has a way of showing us that the path to these insights requires more than a round of stories in reality. Researching drugs, which heal deadly diseases, and exploring our solar system or suitable measures for the struggle against terrorism and to help refugees –much more patience needs to be invested here.

Patience. It also means putting up with things the way they are. Being patient means tolerating a given situation even if it hurts or changes veeery slooowly. Because that’s how reality is. Being patient can drive us mad. Starting something and to then stand idly by and see what happens – this is a real skill, maybe even a virtue.

However, merely putting up with things won’t make you happy in the long run. These situations are usually connected to unfulfilled desires. Calmness and gentleness might help temporarily, but they are also exhausting. Impatience is much more glaring and maybe, for a short time at least, easier to bear because of that. The Russian writer Lew Tolstoi was right when he suggested that patience and time are “the two most powerful warriors”. Fighting for the Good, but also against his own disposition. Those who are able to bear through and accept these moments without resignation and idleness have achieved a lot. What sucks about progress though, especially in technology, is that it doesn’t foster these skills in the relationship with others. Many are under pressure from permanent availability and increasing mobility. In the age of WhatsApp and news feeding, it gets harder for people to wait for an answer from friends and co-workers. A mere few hours without any reaction can lead to anxiety. Wasn’t the other person “online just now”? Didn’t they just “just like something on Facebook”. When actually people shouldn’t let reality hurry them so much. All in good time, they say.

Moreover, the impatient are strict – with themselves and others. This is ok up to a certain point, because strictness also contains a degree of self-criticism and discipline, which are indeed the things that lead us forward. But it can also quickly become a dogma and lead to punishment of oneself and others. It is never really perfect anyway. And it can never happen fast enough.

Millions of people are trying to learn mindfulness and calm through yoga and the like. This also includes patience for ourselves and the world around us. To keep on moving without losing sight of the core, that’s what matters. Obviously certain paths can still lead to nowhere no matter how patient we are. When that happens, we should look mildly to the past time and celebrate our development so far.